I see the above word, Event..and my head spins. How could such elation and afterglow of marrying my soulmate turn to daily fear of losing him in the blink of an eye. My husband, to be refered to as M, delivers stuff around the Metro DC area, and frequents VA.
I did not know his whereabouts at the time the Pentagon was hit. The instant fear was soon squleched when I finally heard his voice via phone from his boss on the Nextel walkie-talkie thing. Add to that, as sister who lives in Manhattan (Upper luckily), and my dad who works at the Pentagon, as well as M's brother. Panic, cry, premature grieving...now has settled into a daily undertow in my life. "What if?"
This Journal was to be a self indulgant narssistic display of myself, my mundane activities, and self rightious thougts and reflections/analysis of my problems. But all than seems so moot now.
I browse through some of these journals, and see the age gap, the self absorbed mundaneness of trivial blah, blah of todays youth. But God Bless America, it is your right. I am hypersensitive anyway, add judgemental, and self critical. Maybe in my next entry I will have someting upbeat to say. If not, to read or not to read......... I feel guilty even writing this. A catch a glimse of a flag, and my eyes burn with tears. I can't comprehend it. I saw it, like millions of others, AS it was happening.
My husband an I and our best friends went near the Pentagon crash sight. We were at an apt. high rise on a grassy knoll, we lit our candles, amoung the many others. We gazed in disbelief at the site. I teared up, held my friend and said "How could they do this to us, or anyone? Why?" We just held each other and cried. "I don't know" was her response.